did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
