i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize