I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she peed on how many people?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize