He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
