We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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