His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
