She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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