Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize