My balls are so social today.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm too high and old for this...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
