Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
