No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
