Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
