Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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