Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i came on her dog
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
