I met the friendliest cop last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
