We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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