I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
