She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
