I accidentally burped into my bong.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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