can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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