I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
