Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
