I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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