Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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