you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize