your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
