my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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