this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
