You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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