I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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