theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
