I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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