My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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