How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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