Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
