You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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