The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
