Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im holly from the hills drunk
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
