I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
