My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
