That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
