I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am midnight drunk by noon
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
