it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
