So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
