so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
