All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
