sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
