Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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