My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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