Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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