I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
