Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
