life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
