I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
