My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
