Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize