I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
