I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
