guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
