Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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