I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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