I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
from now on my penis is your penis
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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