I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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