I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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