he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
