My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
