she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
