Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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