Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
