I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That accounts for only three of the penises
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
