ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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