things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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