i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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