I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
