These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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