Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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